Write offs.
This year, I've written off so many people in my lives. Honestly, I want to go live in a cottage in the mountains and be a hermit. I predict that if this pattern of loosing and gaining friends doesn't slow down or stop soon, I'm going to be a meany face when I'm older. Plus, the friends I do have and want to keep, I can't bring myself to talk to them. They know me too well and I feel like I can't handle the truth right now.
No matter how much you have prepared for it, the truth hurts. It cuts through you with no regard for your feelings. It just is.
Why can't I just be? Why does life have to be complicated? Why can't I ever be truly content with where I am in the moment. I think this is the 3 days of migraine meds talking, but life sucks sometimes. Well, most of the time.
And my life is a walk int he park compared to some others. One of my friends cousins was shot this summer for no reason, and her (the cousins) birthday would have been today. How can my life even compare to my friends life? And why is it that through all this, my friend can still read me better than I can read myself. I have no idea what's going on with me right now. But my friends do. Is ignorance in the area of knowing yourself a good thing?
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