Set Fire to the Rain : Adele

What a week this has been, and next week is going to be much much worse.

Engineering is kicking my butt. Coke has become my major vice. So have mindless romance novels. I try to pick ones that do not involve much sex but sometimes, the kindle free ones are hard to judge until you are into them to much.

I fell like I should feel bad for reading these books. Like I'm somehow trying to fulfill some emotional need. I don't think that's what I'm doing though. I feel like I'm using it as an escape, not a replacement. An escape from the computer coding, from the endless homework. It's an escape from reality, not a fulfillment of an emotional need.

I can go without them, it just gets me farther behind in my homework to read other books, because I don't know how they end and will read them when I'm not supposed to be.

Life truly is complicated. Especially if you're trying to be Christ-like.

You know that girl that I've been ragging on for over a year. The one that hurt me and is now pregnant? I have this feeling like I need to apoligise. For talking bad about her those few times I let people pull me into gossiping, even if I felt it was just talking to a close friend about it. Now all my friends keep tabs on what's going on, feeling like they're helping me. Then they let me know what's going on. I don't want to know. I finally want to just walk away from it all. I realize now how messed up I've made it all. And yes, she just keeps appearing in my life, but it's my choice how I react to it all. Plus, I kinda feel for her.

In other news, the crazy other Whitney I work with made a dig at homeschooling yesterday, and when I said, what the heck, she stood by her point. It was horrible. It's so hard to not be a biotch to her. But I know I shouldn't. She is honestly pissing off everyone around though, not just me. I just have to tough it out. Our schedules worked out so that I only work with her once a week. But believe me, once a week is enough.

Med school students are absolutely crazy this semester, more than normal. I mean, who turns in their study aid an hour after they take it out and before they have the test? It's been an interesting class.

Next week I have 3 tests and 3 home-works at least. I'm no ready for it. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for those tests. But I must attempt it.

Do everything without complaining or arguing... Phil 2:14.

Here we go. If God is for us, who can be against us.