Journal from 6-17-2012

Day 6

After how hard yesterday was. I seemed to crash this morning. I had no drive and didn’t even want to get out of bed. I got up to eat my Chex and went back.

I have depression. I have been taking medication for depresion and anxiety for years. At least 6 years now, with a little stint off of my medication a few years ago. It finally clicked in my brain that there was nothing I could do to not be depressed. It was part of me, not my mentality. 

As a result, my meds have made me gain weight. The summer I went on the meds, I gained 30 lbs. Not really a big deal, I attributed it to the freshman 15, and since I was awesome, it was twice as good. Ya know? Then this past winter, I went on a different preventitive migraine medicine and gained another 40 lbs. JOY

This led to a change in my depression medicine. After the first month, I didn’t know how it was working because that month I was so sick with a lumbar puncture gone completely wrong. I’ve started to notice, especially after today, that this medicine mix isn’t quite right and I’ll have to go to a psychiatrist to get a better mix. Yay, another doctor…

After reading a chapter of my book that talked about never getting over a depression if you didn’t get out and try to make it better, I called a friend up that has a depression thing too, and we both went out to lunch and then made some gluten free cupcakes. It was a great way to get out of the funk. 

Food for today:
-Breakfast: Chex
-Lunch: A cup of tomato basil soup and a large salad from Jason’s Deli (Thanks to a gift certificate from my boss at christmas!)
-Dinner: half a small pizza with gluten free crust from domino’s
Coke count: Lots…
Water count: Not enough.

Add 2 gluten fee cupcakes in there somewhere…. with wonderful cream cheese ice cream.

But I’m a sane person and wound up with a wonderful day.