GF Journal July 2/2012

3 weeks

Gluten free for 3 weeks! I feel so good, mostly. I can’t tell if I was super tired today, depressed or if I somehow managed to eat gluten by accident. Either way, I fell asleep while reading a book and didn’t wake up for 4 hours. Yup, I was productive tonight. Then I sat and finished off a season of Hells Kitchen. (When I say it that way, it sounds like I polished off a bottle of alcohol… guess it does shut my brain down in a similar fashion). 

I worked my engineering lab job first today. I’ve been making a particular sample for 1.5 weeks so far and it took 5 attempts at making the last mix to put on it this morning before I dried it. So, you get the idea, many hours of work on this stupid 600 mg sample. Then I opened a valve too quickly and the whole sample got sucked up into the waste container. THE WHOLE THING. It was so frustrating! 

After engineering, I went to my med-type-lab job. Which was laid back and relaxing. Now I’m off for the 4th and don’t work again until Monday, which I am super stoked about except for the fact that the house is in the middle of being rearranged and it looks like a tornado went through it. So I’ll be picking it up for the next few days before my sister and cute dog come home. 

Food for the day:

Breakfast: Chex, I even branched out and tried some cinnamon chex, which are amazing but too sweet for the whole bowl
Lunch: Some left over risotto and chicken, rice cakes, a nectorine, an apple and a oatmeal square (this includes afternoon snacks too)
Dinner: Chex and then some more risotto and chicken after I woke up.
Dessert: Those wonderful apple things I posted a picture of

Coke count: 2 cans

Water count: 3 liters 

GF journal July 2012

Procrastination!!

Yup, I got on my computer about an hour ago to write this post and wound up watching vlogbrother’s videos on youtube (check them out, they’re amazing. LOOK AT ME!!) Yup, the story of my life.

For the past week or so, I’ve been trying desperately to rearrange the apartment and go through it, getting it ready for the next school semester. I’m super excited to have a fresh arrangment, but I’m so tired of feeling like I’m just floating around because nothing is completely set up and I don’t have a home base. 

Food today was alright, but good

Breakfast: gluten free muffin from a local muffin bakery (yup, within a few blocks there is a muffin bakery. Mostly for muffins!!!) 

Lunch: Left over fried rice and a snack bag of popcorn

Dinner: Chicken enchiladas 

and a chocolate shake

coke count: it’s depressingly high

Water count: 3 Liters

glutenous gluten

Completely gluten-filled salted caramel cupcakes. I made these for a friend’s mom’s birthday. My attempt at a copy of some that she had in NYC that I’ve only heard about. I have heard they’re good and were close to the real thing :)

GF Journal 7/1/2012

Day 20

Listen this video while you read. 

I’ve been re-arranging the furniture on this weekend of the very stressful week.  

To get motivated to clean out things, I’ve been watching Hoarders. (Judge me all you want but obviously people watch it enough for it to still be on TV). One thing I’ve really noticed is how victimized people are. Our country is full of victims. If I’m being honest with myself, I have a victim mentality too. I often find myself thinking ’ Oh, I only did that because I was hurt in my past’ or ‘I’m not going to be around people because this other person stabbed me in the back’. I don’t want to be like that. I want to be a proactive person that takes my hurts and times when I was a victim and be proactive. 

Being sick all the time has always been a sticking point for me. Especially not doing my best. God didn’t say ’ Do everything to the best of your abilities only when you feel happy and in perfect health’ he says: 

Colossions 3:22-25
^22-25Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.  

This week I’ve had to face myself. All the things I’ve been doing half way have caught up to me. Avoided feelings, work, and people.

I’ve started a new friendship that may go to more eventually, and I’ve realized that I haven’t had to create a new friendship in so long that I’m uncomfortable doing it. I usually just sit and wait for people to come to me, and if they don’t I let my sister draw them in. It works for me, but I shouldn’t be letting it be my only way for meeting people. I need to get outside of myself more and meet people, no matter how much I dislike them for the people that have hurt me in my past. I need to stop being the victim and start being proactive. 

I can apply this at work, I’ve only been doing as I’m told and not understanding what I’ve been doing. That really caught up to me this week. I was informed that I needed to do a presentation on it Friday in front of at least 20 people. That was super scary, seeing as I had NO IDEA about what I was doing. I didn’t even understand some of the basic science. The person in charge of overseeing me picked up on that and seemed to be disappointed in me all week. That is a horrible feeling, knowing that you’ve let someone down for something that you know you could have prevented. 

With everything that was changing and all the stress this week, a migraine was inevitable. It happened, and once again it threw the rest of my week out of sync. 

I was talking to a neighbor about how I went gluten free and they then asked how it had affected my migraines. When I realized that I had only had 3 aura’s and only one migraine from it in 2.5 weeks, I was flabbergasted.  I haven’t had a streak migraine-free since… high school over 4 years ago. (I just had to recount that because I still don’t believe it.). Maybe this will make things better. Even better than it has been. 

I’ve been behind on my food tracking because I let this week get the best of me. Tomorrow marks 3 weeks. I’m getting used to eating all gluten free and my friends are too. I made a gagillion more cupcakes this week based on the test batch I made last week, and apparently they turned out well. That’s right, I baked without tasting it as I went. It was really hard, but feeling good after I baked without being so tired or sick to my stomach felt amazing! All my neighbors loved the rest over cupcakes and were willing to take them off my hands. 

With that, I am going to get back to moving furnature and spraying for ants (oh yeah, I woke up Wednesday covered in welted over ant bites… stupid bugs). My spirits are better now then they have been in a very long time 

:D

GF Journal 6/22/1012

Day 12

Today was a conformation that I’m on the right path. In life, my walk with God, and my diet. 

Yesterday was pleasant, there was a concert at the zoo that a friend and I took a picnic to. It was nice to just relax and catch up. I’m planning on going to the concert next friday too, and inviting others. Maybe even playing apples to apples. It will be nice, I mean, who doesn’t like Celtic rock in the zoo with good company?

Today I started by moving furnature, and then baked a test batch of caramel cupcakes that I’m trying to make for a friend’s mom’s birthday. That was hard. I was baking with regular flour. It was to hard to be getting the taste of something right without tasting it, so I did. Boy did that turn out to be a mistake, my belly isn’t doing so well now. Just a taste and it seemed to be rebelling. It’s nice to have the conformation that I am doing the right thing by going gluten free. 

Another conformation that I had today is when I found an old journal. Almost every  entry that was there, somewhere on the page was ‘I am just so tired’. I haven’t felt tired in almost a week. It’s amazing. Wonderful. 

Today’s food:

Breakfast: Chex
Lunch: Corn tortilla chicken quesadilla
Dinner: chicken and rice.

Coke count: 2
Water: 2 liters

3 peanut butter chocolate no bake cookies that I made yesterday.  

I heard on Thursday night that I was expected to present what I’m working on at the ChemE lab this summer at the group meeting that was going to happen Friday. THE NEXT DAY! So I kinda freaked out. My immediate supervisor told me that it wasn’t a big deal that that I wouldn’t be presenting, but that I need to write a report about what I understand about the project as a whole by Tuesday when I go into work. Now I just need to figure out what I’ve been doing…. Here goes nothing :)

GF journal 6-18-12

One Week!

Today marks one week. One long and tough week. I’m so glad I did this though. I would take the trouble that I have figuring out this gluten free thing over the hardships my body has put me through. 

I haven’t checked how this has affected my weight, and honestly, I don’t care about that right now. I mean, I care about my weight, but this last week was one of the best weeks health wise that I’ve had in years.

YEARS.

It’s so hard to be a full time college student with a job and all these appointments. I really have been running myself ragged. I never realized how stressed and run down I was until this past week. Whether it’s the gluten free or the only working two jobs this summer, it works. I really have felt better lately. 

I had a headache yesterday morning and this afternoon. No idea what that’s about. I’ll probably figure it out in a while. 

Food breakdown:
Breakfast: Chex  —> I’m the type of person that actually enjoys eating the same cereal for breakfast every day. I stick with one for 9-14 months then switch it up. It works for me.
Lunch: Salami, turkey and cheese on a lettuce leaf, rice cakes and some banana chips.
Dinner:  veggie stir fry. Yummy! 

Coke count: 2

Water count 2.5 liters

Journal from 6-17-2012

Day 6

After how hard yesterday was. I seemed to crash this morning. I had no drive and didn’t even want to get out of bed. I got up to eat my Chex and went back.

I have depression. I have been taking medication for depresion and anxiety for years. At least 6 years now, with a little stint off of my medication a few years ago. It finally clicked in my brain that there was nothing I could do to not be depressed. It was part of me, not my mentality. 

As a result, my meds have made me gain weight. The summer I went on the meds, I gained 30 lbs. Not really a big deal, I attributed it to the freshman 15, and since I was awesome, it was twice as good. Ya know? Then this past winter, I went on a different preventitive migraine medicine and gained another 40 lbs. JOY

This led to a change in my depression medicine. After the first month, I didn’t know how it was working because that month I was so sick with a lumbar puncture gone completely wrong. I’ve started to notice, especially after today, that this medicine mix isn’t quite right and I’ll have to go to a psychiatrist to get a better mix. Yay, another doctor…

After reading a chapter of my book that talked about never getting over a depression if you didn’t get out and try to make it better, I called a friend up that has a depression thing too, and we both went out to lunch and then made some gluten free cupcakes. It was a great way to get out of the funk. 

Food for today:
-Breakfast: Chex
-Lunch: A cup of tomato basil soup and a large salad from Jason’s Deli (Thanks to a gift certificate from my boss at christmas!)
-Dinner: half a small pizza with gluten free crust from domino’s
Coke count: Lots…
Water count: Not enough.

Add 2 gluten fee cupcakes in there somewhere…. with wonderful cream cheese ice cream.

But I’m a sane person and wound up with a wonderful day.  

mood brightner

There is light at the end of the tunnel!!! These were delicious and I didn’t even feel like I was eating something gluten free. This goes a long way towards a better mood for me :)