Friday, September 20, 2013

April 1, 2013

Yesterday I got to say that I was a Jesus loving Bible follower

Made my day a little brighter. 
Then I started talking about why the date of Easter changed every year, looked it up later that year and realized how much people have messed up ‘the church’. I’ll stick with Jesus loving Bible follower as my ‘religion’ thank-you-very-much

April 1, 2013

Yesterday I got to say that I was a Jesus loving Bible follower

Made my day a little brighter. 
Then I started talking about why the date of Easter changed every year, looked it up later that year and realized how much people have messed up ‘the church’. I’ll stick with Jesus loving Bible follower as my ‘religion’ thank-you-very-much

April 1, 2013

Yesterday I got to say that I was a Jesus loving Bible follower

Made my day a little brighter. 
Then I started talking about why the date of Easter changed every year, looked it up later that year and realized how much people have messed up ‘the church’. I’ll stick with Jesus loving Bible follower as my ‘religion’ thank-you-very-much

April 6, 2013

How my dog stands when i’m on my bed with my computer. He is also not a fan of peter and the wolf… 
How my dog stands when i’m on my bed with my computer. He is also not a fan of peter and the wolf… 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

April 6, 2013

Just about….. 42 weeks… holy cow.

I haven’t had gluten intentionally in 42 weeks. 10 months
You’re probably asking. Why are you counting? Because this week was one of those weeks that feels like the kraken ate you then spit you out because you weren’t good enough. So I’ve been looking for things to cheer me up and tell myself that I’m doing some things in my life correctly. 
6 day migraines take it out of you. How I did this before I had things were a little more under control I have no idea. I got that birth control implant taken out, now they have no idea what to do about my ovarian cysts. I’m hoping my migraines that have been making my life torturous will lessen.

When I was getting the implant taken out, I was asked no less then 5 times what I was going to do for birth control now. I had to keep explaining that I didn’t use the implant for it’s birth control purpose but because I didn’t want more cysts. Considering I was there for only 30 min, it was kinda impressive that they were able to ask that much. I told them every time I don’t have sex. They didn’t believe me. I finally looked the doc in the eye and said ‘I practice abstinence’ They finally stopped asking after that. 

Weirdest thing about this migraine, besides it’s length, only way I’m comfortable is with a cold pack under my neck and a heating pad on my feet.
My body is going crazy, it’s offical

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

March 23, 2013 Sushi...

Sushi!!! or sushi (now with a side of explosive d). Worst Russian roulette game this week.

I had a chance to chill with a friend this week, and as a thank you for her helping me reorganize me kitchen, I took her out to a sushi dinner. 
As a person with celiac disease, finding a sushi place that understands what gluten is and not only accepting of it but is helpful but is nice about it mostly took some trial and error, but I finally found a place.
(This took some time because some places I called and talked to basically wouldn’t let me in the door, ‘No we don’t want you here, we put soy sauce on the booths and on the table tops and you can’t come in the door!!!’, or at least that’s the feeling I got from their, ’ We don’t have ANYTHING that doesn’t have gluten’ At least they were honest)
1) The first time I went to this place, my waitress was a ditz. Told her I couldn’t have gluten, and she had to check with the kitchen a bazillion times. It all turned out well with ordering, but the poor sushi chefs didn’t equate ‘no sauce’ with ‘no gluten’ so the sprinkled tempora flakes over all four rolls my sister and I got. We had to send them all back, so the waitress called over the manager and had to have him talk to us. I calmly told him that when I ordered I told the waitress that I can’t have ANY gluten and she had checked everything and we had ordered specifically so I wouldn’t get sick. We got new rolls. Didn’t get sick, just annoyed, but yummy :)
2) This time I asked to speak to the manager right when I walked in, and she took our order and it worked out very well, no screw ups. Our waitress was mad, but meh. I didn’t get sick, it was good, it was a good experience. 

3) Third time’s a charm right? I thought I had it down. Go in, ask for manager. Nope. Same manager, she brushed us onto waiter, who was arrogant as can be ‘i’m all knowing about every roll and will make it all work out gluten free for you’. Thankfully the sushi chefs had been alerted we were there and told him that one of the fish we ordered wasn’t gluten free like we ordered. He had to come back and tell us that, made us feel better about being talked down to like we were little kids. Not sick, bad experience, OK sushi.

4) Nothing to special this time, not bad or good, they just screwed up what I ordered. Guess that could happen to everyone right? Not sick, meh x2

5) Holy cow, sit down, talk to waiter. By this point at this restraunt, I feel like I can tell if someone is competent on their gluten skills. The test question to the poor server after the bomb of ‘I have celiac disease, which means I can’t have gluten’? ‘What sauces can’t I have?
His answer? ‘Uhm… Any but the soy sauce’
wrong answer buddy!
I asked to speak to the manager. He conferred with a guy dressed very nicely, which I assumed to be the manager, and then called another guy that was carrying a tray over to the greeter station (in my line of sight) and talked to that guy then had the second guy (from now on called tray boy) come to my table.
I would like to mention I’m not a mean person usually, just when it comes to messing with my food like this, if you don’t know, say that. I won’t be hurt. In fact, I’ll be healthy!
Tray boy comes over and asks what’s the problem and I ask what has gluten and doesn’t and I go through the whole thing and he has to run to the chefs. I am super thankful at this point I have been here so many times and know what is and is not gf at this place so I can order correctly.
It finally comes time to order and the original waiter comes over and takes our order, and I’m being specific. I order no sauce on every roll, and say steamed. He gives me attitude with everything. At least everything came out looking like it was the right order. 
I GOT SICK!!!!!
2 days later I’m still sick. Explosive d just won’t go away. My dog won’t go in the bathroom. My heating pad is cranked on high between the pain from my burst ovarian cyst and all these intestinal issues. 
I almost never eat out. If I do, it’s sushi and my safe places. I have so many allergies. What do I do? Never eat out? Easier said then done. 
Guess the fish get to swim away. 

March 20, 2013

Turns out…

One of my meds is the reason that my feet and hands go numb and tingle so much lately. That’s kinda a relief.
Oh, and had an ovarian cyst burst last week. SPRING BREAK 2013!!

Live like you're dying. March 3, 2013

Live like you’re dying

New meaning to me. 
Money and prestige would mean nothing. All in all you’re dying, that means nothing. Live for God and what you have now. That’s all you have and ever will have because you are dying. 
Thanks Bones, you do learn something from TV.

Monday, May 20, 2013

GF Feb 25, 2013


Frustration


Finding motivation to do your homework later is next to impossible. 
When you try so hard and you still fail a test. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

GF Feb 21, 2013


No!

I don’t want tickets to your pancake breakfast!!
I don’t want to tell you why!
Accept it. Move on. Leave me alone.

Friday, May 17, 2013

GF Feb 20, 2013


Ch-ch-ch-Changes!


Two huge things have happened today and it’s only 12:30.
1) As of this morning, I have lost 41 lbs since August 2012. I’m down to 191. It’s such a huge thing for me! I feel so good about myself. A ways to go until I’m back to where I would like to be, but I’m working on it. Amazing what eating foods your body can digest, not being completely sick all the time, and getting of certain medicine will do in 5 months.
2) I got a new neurologist. Whoopie!! She mainly just listened to me and took note of all the medicine that I take all the time and stuff. Then she ran the meds through a computer and a software program and found 29 bad drug interactions. Mainly between all of my prescribed drugs. 9 of which were serious possibly fatal.SCARY!
Every time I get on a new med, I specifically ask ‘does this interact with my other medicines?’ Do doctors actually listen to me? Ever?
So now the big thing is to change my medicines and get me off of a bunch of them to get rid of a bunch of my headaches and possibilities of tons of problems.
I don’t like change. I’m so scared. Changing has always been rough for me and I would like to just do it on my terms, not because I have to.
If it makes me better, I’ll do it though. I’ll do anything to feel better. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

GF Feb 8, 2013


First day without a headache in 10 days!!!! woohoo!!!! 
I think my body is finally getting used to this new medicine implant thing. Hope so!! 
OH, and I finally took the plunge and ate gluten free bread. 214 days since I had my last piece of bread and it tasted great! And normal. That’s why I waited so long, it tasted normal and great! 
First day without a headache in 10 days!!!! woohoo!!!! 
I think my body is finally getting used to this new medicine implant thing. Hope so!! 
OH, and I finally took the plunge and ate gluten free bread. 214 days since I had my last piece of bread and it tasted great! And normal. That’s why I waited so long, it tasted normal and great! 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Feb 5, 2013


Black and White

Everything’s not black and white, it’s the black and white world I’m trying to match that is ruining me

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

GF Feb 4, 2013


Can I just give up for a couple days?

I’ve been working on my homework for 4 days straight now. It’s almost all I’ve done all weekend. Finally the day to turn it in comes and I’m too sick to go to school. I really am annoyed.

Monday, May 13, 2013

GF Feb 2, 2013



Q: Hi! So I was looking through the migraine tag and saw that you have both migraines & celiac. If you don't mind my asking, I was wondering how long you've had each? I was diagnosed with chronic migraines by the time I was 13 and have recently started to wonder if I have a gluten sensitivity or possibly celiac. I've have stomach issues for most of my life (I'm now 24) and am pretty lactose intolerant. If you wouldn't mind I'd be interested to hear if you think the two are connected. Be well!
MY ANSWER: Well, I’ve had my migraines since I was 16, and cut out gluten last June or so. It helped tremendously! 
I decided to do it because I started to have a blind spot in my left eye that kept growing and growing until it was over 3/4 of my vision. None of the Dr’s around could figure out what was causing it so I flew across the country and while I was visiting my brother I saw a neuro-opthamologist.
He put it like this
’ if your body feels like it’s under attack, your vessels will swell up. If you’re even slightly allergic to something and you eat it all the time, you’re setting yourself up for a migraine. The first the I recommend for people with migraines is to try gluten free and see if that helps’
To me that helped me understand why it helped, it also helped me understand enough to explain it to other people. Even if I didn’t have celiac disease, I am allergic to gluten enough that it’s a constant thing that sets me on edge.
I like to think of my triggers as a bucket of water. I can only have a certain amount of my triggers in a certain time period or it will overflow and I will have a migraine. Gluten is like a chunk of cement in the bottom of my bucket that pushes the amount of triggers I can have to next to nothing. 
Then I found out I have celiac disease and everything became a little more clearer. 
tl;dr: migraines since 16 (22 now) , celiac for 7 months much better still not good though

Saturday, May 11, 2013

GF Feb 1, 2013


I’m not a failure!

Listen to this


If you didn’t know, here is pertinent information for the following story.
 - I’m a girl
 - I’m a Engineering Major
 - I’m fairly smart
 - I’m sick a lot because I have an autoimmune disease so it looks like I’m a slacker in college
In my engineering lab, with a 18:2 ratio of guys to girls, I got paired up with 2 guys, go figure. It’s engineering so I wasn’t too surprised. I’m in almost all my classes with the same people at this point so I knew of these guys, and had spoken to them.
Lucky for me, the day of the pre-lab, where we go to find out what we’re doing, one of them came and told me not to worry because they had already done all the work (that wasn’t even technically assigned yet or possible to do without attending the lab session that afternoon), and would send it to me. 
See, they had met without me and done all the work so I wouldn’t have to, how nice of them. *insert sarcasm here*
When in the pre-lab, they generally excluded me from all conversations. About an hour into talks, I mentioned an answer to a question they asked and expounded upon it. I was right. If I didn’t know I was right, the look on my lab partners face would have told me so. 
I think these people counted me out. I don’t know if it’s because I have to miss because I’m sick with migraines and celiac or simply because I’m a girl, but either way, being counted out made me angry. 
Today, I’ve noticed that I’ve worked my butt off to prove them wrong, that not only am I going to do all the work, but I’m going to do it better then I normally would. 
I also realized that this has happened a few times for me, when professors or other people have told me that ‘you won’t pass’ or ‘you can’t do that’ and I go out of my way to prove the wrong, even if it isn’t the best thing for me to do. 
So, here is me. Proving that I’m going to do it. I’m going to do whatever it is people think I can’t. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

GF blog Jan 31, 2013


Dear people putting on super smelly stuff,

I have a super stuffed up nose and I can smell it. I will most likely get some sort of headache from it. Thanks… Not..

Thursday, May 9, 2013

GF blog jan 30, 2013


OUch!

Migraine attack half way though first class of the day, had to miss the rest of  the day :( 

It’s so frustrating  I’m behind with everything now and i’m seeing double and ca’t focus enough to work on the homework. Took me 8 hours of black room, double meds, and tons of convincing to get me alive and out of bed tonight to even eat some tortilla chips. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

GF Jan 29, 2013


‘He’s only MOSTLY dead…’

Since October or so I’ve been dealing with a horrible rash, scabby thing on my scalp. It’s been so annoying! I’ve changed my shampoo so many times, it’s to the point that I can’t really touch my head and to brush it hurts! 
This lead me to look into cross contaminate gluten unrelated to food. Yup, new shampoo, makeup, soap, blarg! I hate shopping for that stuff when I get the exact same brand every time, took so long to find new stuff. 
I’m going to try a homemade face wash with honey and some other stuff, excited to try it. Off to more homework. 

Monday, May 6, 2013

GF blog jan 26, 2013


My dog is super cute sitting under my chair while I’m working on my homework. 



I just wish he would stop farting.
My dog is super cute sitting under my chair while I’m working on my homework.
I just wish he would stop farting.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

GF blog Jan 21-2013


dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, vomiting, stomach bleeding, headache.. Headache…

Dear F.R.I.E.N.D.S. you rock. Somehow you always have something that applies. like now. 

Monica gives these headache pills to Pheobe and she freaks out about all the possible side effects. 
No matter how many meds I take for my headaches, there is always a bummer side effect that comes with it.   
REALLY annoying when it’s a headache. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Art project Jan 2013


I’ve been working on this for while, but finally finished it. It’s OK to be not OK.  
reminding me it’s ok when I’m sick because there’s nothing I can do about it but to get better
I’ve been working on this for while, but finally finished it.
It’s OK to be not OK.  
reminding me it’s ok when I’m sick because there’s nothing I can do about it but to get better

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

GF journal 1/19/13


want to die. 
migraine. Check
nausea, no apatite check 
possible glutened check. 
shark week  check. 
ofc this occurred on a three day weekend. 
want to die. 
migraine. Check
nausea, no apatite check 
possible glutened check. 
shark week  check. 
ofc this occurred on a three day weekend. 

Sunday, April 28, 2013

GF journal Jan 18, 2013


First week back at school!

3
Back in school 4 days and already had to miss a day for a migraine :(
Good points:
- Instead of putting me onto medicine that puts me into menopause for awhile, my doctor has found medicine for me that will hopefully stop these ovarian cysts without poking my brain and making the migraine monster mad. It’s called nexplanon, and it’s a sub-dermal implant. Woohoo.
- I found a new neurologist and made an appointment. I’m super excited! My current one and I don’t get along to well and he doesn’t seem very proactive about anything, just throws stuff at me and shines lights in my eyes… Excited for a new one!
- I got a new computer! Old one was almost as expensive to repair as it was to buy so I just broke down and got a new one.
- have Internet again! And it comes with TV. Which is a kinda bad thing, because now I have a major time waster. I mean, who watches a show about people that size bras and run a lingerie store? Thanks double divas…

Saturday, April 27, 2013

GF journal Jan 15, 2013


Kabloom!!!

Yesterday I started getting a migraine. No idea what the trigger was. Went on am the last walk of the night with my puppy. Bit it on the ice walking outside.
I fell down so hard and whacked my head. It’s a day later and it still hurts.
Then I walked my blind eye into a tree.
I’m a klutz again. I haven’t missed this.

Friday, April 26, 2013

GF jan 8 2013


Dreams

I used to have such big grand dreams. Dreams of my future, my happiness, work, school, play…
Now I have dreams of grilled cheese sandwiches on real bread and four tortillas…
The dreams of a celiac

Thursday, April 25, 2013

GF Jan 1, 2013

image

Let it snow and snow and snow…


So I’m at my parent’s house in almost Canada Washington. In my 9 days here there has been sunshine once. The rest of the time it has snowed. And snowed. There was now snow on the ground when my mom left for the airport to pick me up, and now there is over 2 feet on the ground. From NM to this is a BIG change. Plus it’s cold. 
This last semester was crazy towards the end. My whole life seemed to turn up side down. The good news is that I passed everything, depending on if my engineering prof ever posts the grades…
So much has happened in the past few months that it’s going to take many posts to get through it all. Plus I have to remember all the things as they come up again.
It’s beautiful outside, but I miss the sun.  

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

GF nov 14, 2012


Annoyances

Annoyances with having Celiac and being gluten free:
-
 People that don’t understand and aren’t willing to listen

 —> Example: ” Are you sure you have Celiac disease? You seem to weigh a lot.”
Thanks ignorant person. Thank you for calling me fat and sounding stupid simultaneously. I’m sure I have it, otherwise I wouldn’t deal with not eating gluten. 
—>This includes servers. If you don’t understand what gluten is, and where it comes from, please don’t act like you know and ruin 3 days of my life from it. Also, if I ask to see your manager, it’s not because your in trouble, but because I really just want to not get sick. 
- Doctors that treat me like I’m an idiot
 —> “Emergency rooms are for emergencies”
In response to ovarian cyst pain and a rebound migraine
—> “Oh, that’s not my body part”
I would like to inform this doctor that all my body parts are connected and what you do to one affects the other
- Teachers that think I’m faking/students that fake
—> This is two part, because I have some teachers that are understanding, and these are usually teachers that have been through my problem and have had a migraine, or have been directly involved with one. If the teacher hasn’t, then they don’t understand. A migraine isn’t just a super headache, it’s so much more, and there is no way I can just ‘work through it’. (Yup, I’ve heard that from more than one prof). 
This list goes on and on, but these are just the ones that I want to punch in the face. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

GF journal Oct 28, 2012


Stress. Garg!


Panic attack about the future. Check
My life has been absolutely crazy lately
surgery during school week   check
big test tomorrow     check
And these are just the big 3 things. 
Just when you think life is getting stable, something happens and your whole life takes a turn around again. 
I expected the surgery I had, I was looking forward to it. And honestly, it helped with the pain tons and I’m already doing tons better, even though I’m still trying to get over the actual surgery aspect. Turns out I was right and my ovaries were cyst factories and I wasn’t being crazy with how much pain I was in, there was much more going on down there than the doctors believed. 
The test tomorrow? Yeah, prof announced it last Friday, after I had scheduled the surgery and everything. This is also the prof that said that unless it was a life threatening thing that I needed to plan it around class. I’m actually going to email him now and say that the surgery was more intense than the doc and I were expecting that that I’m still not recovered from it. Who knows. 
This whole thing leads me back to panicking about school. 
My theory up until now has been to grin and bear it. Wanting to be an engineering doesn’t mean I have to like everything leading up to it. This still holds, but going on 5 years of just making it through and I’m going crazy. My life goals seem to have shifted. 
1) God
2) Family
3) Health insurance
4) Traveling
So, next semester starts the shift to not only just finishing my engineering classes, but doing things that I enjoy, not just things that need to be done. It will be a change for sure. 
Everything changes, and I’m still not used to it.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Because you're in china: Oct 19: 2012


Dear Ashley, 
Because you’re in China, I’ve decided to inform you of the new Disney princess that looks exactly like you! 
Oh, by the way, she is supposed to be latina… So even though she looks exactly like you, she doesn’t have some awesome Scandinavian heritage like you and I, but  is awesome latina. She seems cool enough. Hope your day went well and you’re learning those students some english bueno. 
xoxo -whit

Saturday, April 20, 2013

GF journal Oct 16, 2012

I’m so angry, I keep failing. And I keep getting sick. And I’m tired of putting on a smile and just dealing with it. Why does God put me on this path to be an engineer then put a bajillion things in my way all the time? Why can’t I go a semester without have some sort of medical crisis? A crisis that always affects my studies. Why me? Why can’t I just have a normal semester? Why can’t I pass the classes I study my butt off for? Why do I have to keep failing? At what point do you stop getting up after being pushed down?

failing sucks, Oct 19, 2012

Failing sucks

Friday, April 19, 2013

GF journal November 12, 2012


War of change (5 months and going strong)

Change is happening. Whether I want it to happen or not. 
I put in my notice that this is my last semester at the job I’ve had and loved for the past 3 years. 
Most of what’s changing seems to be in my head, centering around my way of thinking and the way I’m treating life. Just because it’s an internal change doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. 
I feel like all I focus on is how much is changing around me, who is getting married, who is having a baby, who moved away. How do you not focus on that though? I’ve been working on changing how I’ve been thinking, but as anyone with depression can attest, it’s not something you can just snap your fingers and magically have happen. 
Next semester when I theoretically have more time, hopefully I’ll figure out some stuff, until then, I’ll keep on keeping-on :)
Oh, and today is 5 months gf :) yippie me! 
Another thing.. whoever designed the layout of the Smiths by my house is evil, who the heck puts the gluten free stuff on the bread aisle…

GF Journal October 14, 2012


Dude, no edge

Church was good, I’ve been so emotional lately. It was about how we can miss God when he walks by us because we were too busy looking for him in the box that we expect to find him in. Today I woke up with a migraine, which isn’t such a big deal lately because I’ve been dealing with it and all the medications I’m on for this stupid ovary thing and I accidently  had some gluten this week (Stupid baking powder is sneaky!!). Basically I took my pain meds I’ve been shoving down my throat lately and rolled over and slept till the last moment possible before church. 
I don’t even know if what I’m writing makes sense, hours of physics and transport along with pain meds will mess with your mind I’m telling you. 
Although church wasn’t what I was expecting to hear, it was something I needed to hear. Let God out of the box. Let everything out of the box. 
Dude. No edge.  
For anything. The universe, my life, my limits, friendships, God, expectations. Anything and everything. 
I’ve been hedging God in, I need to stop. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

GF journal 9/15/2012


i am less than perfect (week 19)
First off: 
  Curse you Taylor Swift for releasing songs before the CD. I want to buy the whole CD, not each individual song as it comes out and the whole CD. Way to make me have patience…. 

Second off:
Life is crazy and unpredictable. So many things in my life that I usually take for granted have gone cablooey lately that it’s been getting on my nerves.
1) internet out at my house for 2 weeks (as a college student, this is a MUST for everything, it’s my TV, my research, my connection to the outside world and my homework)
2) A gas line at my apartment complex stopped working, I still don’t know exactly what happened  and I’ve been out of hot water for a week now, which is frustrating. I have to go to a friends house out of the complex to take a shower and washing dishes without hot water is no fun at all.
3) I have another ovarian cyst. Which is never fun. I’ve had 2 removed and have watched quite a few grow and burst. All of them are painful.
4) Midterms. I knew midterms were coming and I’ve been preparing for them, but somehow, when the previous 3 things happen at the same time as midterms, everything in the world seems to come crashing down on you.  
All of this goes to show, life is never how you think it will go, or how you want it to go.
Part three:
I went and saw Pitch Perfect this weekend. It was great! Loved it! The one liners were great and the singing was fabulous! At the same time, anyone that is going to write anything about college, must be required to have spent at least a semester on a college campus (in a dorm or something) within a year of scripting it. A lot of the college campus scenes made no sense, but then again, if they were like a real college, the story wouldn’t happen I guess haha.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

GF journal Sept 22, 2012


Maintain Consciousness
This is going to be a more mental health related post than a physical health, beware!
A few weeks ago, a friend made a passing comment. Why are you doing this to yourself? If you want to be a doctor or something like that, why are you going the route of engineering? 
Honestly, it doesn’t make sense. I’ve always been called to be an engineer, or pursue an engineering degree. And I’ve always been drawn to the medical field. I know somehow God will make these things mesh. 
Over the last few weeks, this question keeps popping up, why are you doing this, or why didn’t I pick something easier, a whole multitude of things. I’ve finally figured out the answer to these questions besides I like a challenge, my original cop-out. 
They were answered biblically for me. As  most things are when I pray about them,  
Eph 1:11
     It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.
 and
1 Peter 5: 6-7
       So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you, he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.
Even fellow believers don’t completely understand how I can just do it, follow God so blindly.
It’s not blind. I’ve had trials and error. God says one thing, I do another, it turns out badly and I figure out God was right. Who would have thunk.  
I’ve been content with the answer though, so that’s all that matters. Then I found an explination that explains it in words that will help others more. 
      “Being an engineer has a lot more to do with how you think than with what your favorite subjects are. Although math and science are important, the important thing is THINKING like an engineer. If you are curious about the world, wonder why things work the way they do, and like to fix things that are broken, then you will make a great engineer!”
Yup. God provides. He provided an explanation that makes sense to me and an explanation that makes sense to others. He rocks. 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

GF journal 9/17/2012


What if I stumble?
This week has been an extremely hard and emotional week for me.
I’ve been wondering I should even post about all that I’ve been going through in life or just what I deal with in my health.
On this I’ve decided two things:
1)   How can you have an idea of what I go through in life if I don’t give you the whole story
 2)   I don’t want to be anyone’s stumbling block.  *1 Corinthians 8:9*
Yup, I’ve turned this into a Bible thing, amazing how much in my life turns into a Bible thing (Hint: it all does)
How would I be someone’s stumbling block by not posting about my trials outside of my health? Well, let me spend the next few paragraphs ranting to you about it.
No matter how hard I try at something, I am never as good as anyone else. This includes everything. Whenever I compare myself to someone, I always fall short. Simple enough fix, just don’t compare myself to others.
Psch… have you been in American society lately? All they do is compare you to others! Not only do they compare you to others, they compare you to other people’s final results. ‘Look at how skinny this person is!!’ what they didn’t mention is that she has an eating disorder.  ‘Look who is getting married this week!!’ because she is pregnant from a one night stand.
I’m not saying that all things are from horrible things like this (even if it would help my state of mind if they were). All I’m trying to point out is that we shouldn’t compare our in progress spot in life to other people’s final results.
Or to put it in better terms, we don’t get to see all the trials that others go through. Why do we assume they have it easy?
I do this constantly. It is one of the main reasons I need to limit my facebook time more. I see all these people that are getting engaged, married, pregnant, graduating, finding jobs, moving on. It just seems like all these times while these people are moving on, I’m here. In the same place in my life.
In my head, I know I’m not. I know that I’m moving forward on the path that God has me on. It’s just one of those annoying and frustrating times when my head and my heart don’t agree.
How does this connect to the stumbling block? Not that anyone could ever mistake me for having it together, but in case they ever do, I want them to know that I don’t have it together. In no way, shape, or form.  And if it seems like I do, it’s all God. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

GF journal Sept 14, 2012


A change
People have started to notice a change in me. 
Last week at my eye Dr appointment the nurse that always checks me in said that I seemed a whole lot better than when I first started going there. 
My dad just commented to me that I sound tons better than I used to, and when pressed he clarified that I seem to be doing so much better this semester than I have before. 
For a long time I have noticed a change with in myself with this diet and lifestyle. 
It feels SO good to have other people starting to notice the change enough to say ‘Hey, you’re doing so much better I want to know why.’ 
This week has been crazy, emotional and I felt out of control. If people are saying things like this to me during a week like this, I can’t imagine how the rest of the semester will go. 
For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it.
~ Habakkuk 1:5

Monday, April 8, 2013

GF journal 9/10/2013


Week 13
Being a math person, I know that 13 does not come after 11. Conclusion? I missed a week. Yup. Life has a way of catching up with you. 

I have 4 min until my go-to-bed-you-have-to-sleep-before-a-test time.
And I just spaced out for 2 of those min’s. Oi.
Big news, had a neuro appointment today and he has ok’d be switching my migraine preventative from the one that makes my body horde weight. YAYAYAY!!! I hopefully will be getting everything in some semblance of control.
Ah!! 1 min. 
I love God and how faithful He is and how amazing he is. Through everything I’ve been through it’s great to know that He has a wonderful plan for me and I just need to listen to His guidance. 
Oh, and I still don’t like cowboys and indians or man hating weeks at work. Boo them.  

Sunday, April 7, 2013

GF Journal 8/27/2012


Week 11 ramble
I have a hour before my next class, instead of working on my last few physics problems due tomorrow, I’m writing this. Yup, college is back!!!
This weekend has been super hard. I’ve tried to just tune everything out, but that’s not a good long term solution. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to face my feelings, and finding next to nothing besides chocolate and Doctor Who. I know the chocolate isn’t the best way to cope, but that part is at a minimum… just don’t take away my coca-cola!
Side note: I’m sitting in the computer pod at school, have been for about 20 min or so, and the girl next to me has been checking fb on her phone the whole time… I’m not a genius or anything, but if you’re sitting at a computer, wouldn’t it be easier to check fb on there?
Anyways, this weekend I had to drive my sister to the airport so she could experience a miracle and fly in a big silver bird all the way to China. It’s been rough. Really rough, I never realized how quiet my house is, for that I’ve had mythbusters/hoarders/any crappy reality TV I can find playing constantly.
I’m so thankful for imessage, I get to text her because of it! It’s usually only a text or two when I wake up and she’s going to bed, but it is enough to help. I’ve been trying to just stay away from the house, but my poor doggie is there, so I’m looking for a new place to study that I can take him and he can people watch to his heart’s content :)
I ran out of breakfast food this weekend, not a big deal. I didn’t think to get some before I woke up Monday morning and was running late (per usual) to school. So I stopped and got a gluten free muffin from a shop. That was a bad idea! Somehow it was cross contaminated and I felt like crap all day. I got home and crashed for 2 hours. So my homework didn’t get done like it should have. The only part that surprised me is that it was the first homework of the semester.
I’ve been doing good with this no gluten thing. The hardest challenge I face this week is finding a new place to study that might have munchies for me. Not sure that is possible in Abq.
Last week’s big challenge was finding lunches to take. This problem was figured out when my sister left (sad face for her leaving). I still make dinner, and it’s next to impossible to just make one portion of anything so I have leftovers. Yay!
One last thing, I got the blood test back and I have Celiac :)
Well, actually they said I had borderline levels of the antibodies, and that it’s most likely that I had Celiac. Which I agree with, because most of the gluten I ate for the test didn’t stay in my body… rhymes with comet.
I’ve been in a grumpy mood most of this weekend and only able to focus on what has been going wrong in my few days (the last straw was realizing that my shirt was on backwards… 3 hours before the end of my 10 hour day…). I opened up my phone to obsessively check my email and clicked on an encouragement email I usually delete before reading and this was the verse:
  ” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,       so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”
                                                           Romans 15:13
Thanks God for the serendipity moments in my life, they mean a whole bunch to me!